Plot: Arnold is Douglas Quaid. A lowly construction worker, who feels like his life should be more exciting. He visits Recall, a business that will implant fake memories of vacations you never had. Arnold decides to spend a few extra bucks to take a vacation away from himself. He's thrust into the life of a spy who's had his memory erased and must save the entire planet of Mars. Is it real or is he just living out his implanted memory? After ending the 80's with a comedy, Arnold starts the 90's of with a bang. One of Arnold's best movies and definately the most violent.
Film: B+
One-liners: B+
Trailer - #4, #11, #12
Screenplay

1. Salesman: "As real as any memory in your head."
Quaid: "Come on! Don't BULLSHIT me."

2. Salesman: "Mr. Quaid, calm down!"
[Chokes him] Quaid: "My name is not Quaid!"

3. Harry: "I told you not to go, but you went anyway's."
Quaid: "What are you... my FATHER?"

4. Lori: "Sorry Quaid, your whole life's just a dream."
Quaid: "Ok then. If I'm not me, who the HELL am I?"

5. [Punches out Lori] "Nice knowing you!"

6. Johnnycab: The fare is 18 credits, please."
Quaid: "Sue me. Dickhead!"

7. Howser: You are not you. You're me."
Quaid: "No shit!"

8. Howser: "Get your ass to mars."

9. Mutant: "Do you want to know the future?"
Quaid: "What about the past?"

10. [Grabs Arnold's crotch]
Melina: "What you been feeding this thing?"
Quaid: "BLONDES."

11. Tony: [a mutant] "You've got a lot of nerve showing your face around here, Howser."
Quaid: "Look who's talking!"

12. Lori: "Honey, be reasonable... after all we're married."
[Shoots her dead]
Quaid: "Consider that a DIVORCE!"

13. Cohaagen: "Well my boy, you're a hero!"
Quaid: "FUCK YOU!"

14. Cohaagen: "Someone you trust wants to talk to you."
Quaid: "Who is it this time, my Mother?!"

15. Cohaagen: "You'll like being Howser."
Quaid: "Guy's a fucking asshole!"

16. Benny: "Where the fuck are you?!"
[Drills through truck's side and into him.]
Quaid: "SCREW YOOUUU!!"

17. [Rips his arms off.]
"See you at the party, Richter!"

Kindergarten Cop (1990)

Plot: Arnold is Detective John Kimble, he's been chasing the same drug dealer for years. Once caught it seems the only person who can testify is the ex-wife. Arnold goes undercover as a kindergarten teacher to track her down. The first act of the film is standard Arnold action. 2nd act is cutesy kid comedy stuff. 3rd act turns back into an action flick. This film is kind of short on the one-liners, but contains my favorite one ever. (#8)
Film: C+
One-liners: B
Trailer

1. "I'm a police officer... this is an ARREST."

2. [pulling out a gun]
"Oh... excuse me. I forgot to introduce myself. My name is John Kimble... [cocking gun] and I LOVE my car."

3. [shooting up party]
"Alright... party's over... next time MY place."

4. Guy: "So who are you man?"
Kimble:"I'm the party pooper."

5.Stewardess: "Is your wife okay sir?"
Kimble: "Compared to WHAT?"

6. "They're SIX year olds... how much trouble can they be?"

7. Joseph: "Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina."
Kimble: "Thanks for the TIP."

8. Kid: "It might be a tumor."
Kimble: "It's not a TUMOR!"

9. "There is NO Bathroom!"

10."Hi kids... I'm BACK!"

Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
Directed by: James Cameron

Plot: Arnold is once again the Terminator, but this time he fights for good. Sent back in time to protect the boy, that the in the first film he was trying to kill pre-birth. An action masterpiece, with some (still) amazing f/x. It's one of Arnold's best films.
Film: A
One-liners: B
Trailer - #3, #8, #10
Screenplay

1. "I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle."

2. [Drops John]
John: "Why the hell did you do that?"
Terminator: "Because you told me to."

3. John: "Jesus, you were going to kill that guy!"
Terminator: "Of course. I'm a TERMINATOR."

4. [After shooting guard in shins.]
"He'll LIVE."

5. "Come with me, if you want to live."

6. John: "Or you can do combinations."
Terminator: "Chill out, Dickwad."

7. [Starts truck.]
John: "Alright, my man!"
Terminator: "No problemo."

8. Terminator: "I'll take care of the police."
John: "Hey, you swore!"
Terminator: "TRUST ME."

9. "Stay here, I'll be BACK."

10. [Shooting T-1000.]
"Hasta la vista, BABY."

11. [Nearly destroyed.]
"I need a vacation."

Last Action Hero (1993)

Plot: Arnold is movie action hero Jack Slater. A young boy uses a magical ticket to enter the movie of his favorite star. Meant to be a spoof of Arnold's past films, it's an awkward mix of comedy and high-octane action. It is an interesting concept that could have been pulled off much better. The one-liners while they are in the movie, within the movie, are intended to be overly cheesy.
Film: C+
One-liners: B-
Trailer - #11, #21

1. [Punches Lieutenant Governor]
"When the Governor gets here, CALL ME."

2. "Hey, want to be a farmer?"
[Kicks cop in the balls.]
"Here's a couple of ACRES!"

3. [Drops about 10 guns.]
Ripper: "Is that about it, sport?"
Jack: "Yep. That about does it."

4. [Arnold as Hamlet.]
"Hey Claudius! You killed my father... BIG Mistake!" Watch

5. Old Man: "Stay thy hand fair Prince."
Hamlet: "Who said I'm FAIR!" [Pulls out machine gun.]

6. "To be, or not to be? Not to BE!"

7. [To the cops busting down his 2nd cousin's door.]
"The only drugs you're going to find in there are aspirin. And if you touch that front door... you're going to need them!"

8. [Bad guy gets killed by ice cream cone.]
"Iced that guy!"

9. Danny: Where are the ordinary, every-day women? They don't exist, because this is a movie!"
Jack: "No, this is California."

10. Danny: "You think you're funny don't ya?"
Jack: "I know I am. I'm the famous comedian Arnold Braunshwegger."
Danny: "Schwarzenegger!"
Jack: "Gesundheit."

11. Danny: "Where are you going?"
Jack: "I'll be back!.. Ha!.. you didn't know I was going to say that!"

12. [Bad guy repeatedly shoots and misses Arnold.]
"Don't give up your day job!" [Throws him across room]

13. [Referring to bullet-proof jacket.]
"Don't leave home without it."

14. Danny: "Where you going?
Jack: "Got to catch the Red Eye."

15. "Leo the Fart, is going to pass gas one more time."

16. [Shoots down helicopter.]
"It's a no-fly zone fella."

17. [Nerve gas goes off.]
"Silent, but deadly."

18. Benedict: "Alright Slater, I'll go quietly."
Jack: "The HELL you will!"

19. "You've seen those movies where they say "Make my day." or "I'm your worst nightmare.", well listen to this one. Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers!"

20. Ripper: "I'll be Back!"
Jack: "The HELL you will!"

21. [Dejected] "This hero stuff has it's limits."

22. "No sequel for you!" [Shoots Benedict]

23. [Back in movie, punches window without pain.]
"It's working again!"

Junior (1994)

Plot: Arnold is Dr. Alex Hesse, a scientist (Note how the glasses make him look "scientisty") who is working with Danny Devito on a drug to help pregnant women keep their baby. When their drug is rejected by the FDA, they decide to test the drug themselves. By impregnating Arnold! A funny concept, with the bonus of getting to see Arnold in drag. His one-liners are all pretty "girly" based on the situation.
Film: C-
One-liners: D
Trailer - #1, #2, #3, #5, #7

1. Larry: "I took you for a scientist."
Alex: "I AM a scientist."

2. "I'm pregnant."

3. "My nipples are very sensitive."

4. "But, I have nothing to wear."

5. "Feel how soft my skin is."

6. "I don't know if you're a boy or a girl... so I'll call you Junior."

7. "I want my baby!"

8. [To Angela, who's also pregnant.]
"I'm going to be a mamma too!"

9. Noah: "You and your baby are University property now."
Alex: "No I'm not!" [Throws Noah to the ground.]
"My body, my choice!"

10. [Arnold goes into labor.] "Oh Shit!!"

True Lies (1994)
Directed by James Cameron

Plot: Arnold is Harry Tasker a secret agent, battling terrorists who possess nuclear weapons. His family has no idea who he is. Meanwhile his wife is craving a more exciting, action packed life. Arnold manages to give her this as she gets mixed up in his work. Basically it's Arnold and James Cameron's version of a James Bond film.
Film: B
One-liners: C
Trailer - #2, #4, #5, #9
Screenplay

1. [Telling Gib he's made it to the Mansion.]
"Honey, I'M home."

2. Guard: "May I see your invitation?"
Harry: "Sure.. Here's my invitation." [EXPLOSION]

3. [Knocking dogs out.] "STAY."

4. "This is the problem with terrorists... they're REALLY inconsiderate when it comes to people's schedules."

5. [Puts bad guys head into urinal.]
"Here... Cool OFF!"

6. [Referring to the nuke.]
Salim: "Do you know what this is?"
Harry: "I know what this is.. it's an espresso machine... no no no.. it's a snow-cone maker.. is it a WATER heater?"

7. Samir: "...Then we'll talk."
Harry: "I'm looking FORWARD to it."

8. Samir: "Is there anything you'd like to tell me before we start?"
Harry: Yeah.. I'm going to KILL you pretty soon."

9. Helen: Are we going to die?"
Harry: "YEP."

10. Helen: "Have you ever killed anyone?"
Harry: "Yeah.. but they were all BAD."

11.Gib: "Hey Harry! Do you realize that it has in fact been 10 years since you've been behind the wheel of one of these things?"
Harry: "If I break it they can take it out of my pay."

12. [Salim is hanging on to a missle.]
"You're FIRED."

Eraser (1996)

Plot: Arnold is U.S. Marshal John Kruger, working for WITSEC, a witness protection agency. Vanessa Williams works for a advanced weapons company, she has stolen the plans for a top secret gun, that they plan to sell to Russian terrorists. (I hate it when that happens.) It's up to Arnold to protect her from getting killed, so that she can testify against them. Arnold gets framed by his mentor (James Caan!), and must prove himself innocent, save the girl, and stop the weapons deal. Can he do it? It's a weak film, with some weak one-liners.
Film: D-
One-liners: D
Trailer - #3, #8

1. [Taking photo.]
"Don't move.. your DEAD."

2. [Referring to being Erased.]
"Next time you're DEAD.. this only happens ONCE."

3. "Lee you're ALIVE.. and I'll keep you that WAY."

4. Agent: "Don't you ever get tired of baby sitting scum?"
John: "Yeah... but in your case.. make an EXCEPTION."

5. "If you drop your gun now.. I promise I won't kill you."

6. Lee: "You're late."
John: "TRAFFIC."

7. [Shoots a crocodile.]
"You're LUGGAGE."

8. [To his WITSEC boss.]
"Come and GET me."

9. Nurse: "Let's do it one more time."
John: "Let's NOT."

10. [After Arnold kills them.]
Robert: "Schiff! Caldreon!"
John: "They MISSED."
Robert: "Johnny?!"
John: "I'll be RIGHT out."

11. [Holding gun on Arnold.]
Robert: "Say.. goodbye John."
John: "GOODBYE."
[Drops crate they're standing on.]

12. "You've just been ERASED."
[Train kills the 3 bad guys]

13. Lee: "What happened?"
John: "They CAUGHT a train."

Jingle All the Way (1996)

Plot: Arnold is Howard Langston a workaholic who ignores his wife and kids. He promises to get his son the hottest toy of the season for Christmas, and then proceeds to spend the rest of the film lying, stealing, fighting with mothers, punching reindeer, running from cops, basically acting like a moron, he then lucks into pleasing his family at the end. It's a great message for kids, in what is supposed to a family film. This is Arnold's worst film with him in the starring role.
Film: F
One-liners: F
Trailer

1. "You're my #1 customer!"

2. [Grabbing toy store clerks.]
"Where's your Christmas spirit?!"

3. [Fighting with Myron for Turbo Man.]
"This is WAR!"

4. [To fallen Myron.]
"Oh, poor baby!"

5. "Put that cookie down! Now!"

6. Mall Santa: "Hey buddy you want a Turbo Man doll?"
Howard: "Forget it, I'm not gonna sit on YOUR lap."

7. [Running after Myron.]
"Oh... you barked up the wrong tree!"

8. [As Turbo Man]
"Hey Myron! I have a Special delivery for you!"

Batman & Robin (1997)

Plot: Arnold is Mr. Freeze, a diabolical genius, bent on destroying Gotham City, a typical villian in a Batman movie. This movie is God awful, an absolute horrid piece of trash. Every single line in the film is a one-liner, and they couldn't get any worse, just horribly written. Everything out of Arnold's mouth has to be about cold or freezing. Wow, what genius! He's Freeze, so that's all he can say.
Film: F
One-liners: F
Trailer / Screenplay

1. "The Ice-Man cometh!" Watch

2. Guard: "Please show some mercy!"
Freeze: "Mercy? I'm afraid that my condition has left me COLD to your pleas of mercy."

3. "In this Universe, there is only one absolute... everything FREEZES."

4. [Knocking Batman away.]
"You're not sending me to the COOLER."

5. "Kill the heroes!"

6. "What killed the dinosaurs?! The ICE AGE!"

7. [Batman jumping into Freeze's rocket.]
"I was hoping you would DROP in."

8. [Leaving Batman in rocket.]
"FREEZE well."

9. [Freezing Robin. (Thanks)]
"Stay cool! Bird... boy."

10. "I'll kill ya' next time!"

11. [Freezes henchman.]
"I hate it when people TALK during the movie."

12. "Alright everyone... CHILL!"

13. [Talking to Poison Ivy.]
"Turn over the diamond Garden Gal... or I'll turn you into MULCH."

14. [Giving thumbs-up.]
"COOL party."

15. [Shooting Batobile.]
"It's a COLD town."

16. [To prison guards.]
"Allow me to break the ICE. My name is FREEZE... learn it well. For it is the CHILLING sound of your doom."

17. Prison Guard: "You're going to be here a long, long time."
Freeze: "Sadly you will not live to see it."

18. [Bain brings Freeze's suit.]
"A laundry service that DELIVERS! Wow!"

19. "Always winterICE your pipes!"

21. [Cops in his lab.]
"I HATE uninvited guests!"

22. [Fixing his suit.]
"CHILLED to perfection."

23. Ivy: "We will be the only two people left in the world."
Freeze: "Yes! Adam and Evil."

24. "First I will turn Gotham into an ICY graveyard. Then I will pull Batman's heart from his body and feel it FREEZE in my hand."

25. "No matter what they tell you Mr. Bain. It IS the size of your GUN that matters."

26. "If revenge is a dish best COLD... then put on your Sunday's finest, it's time to FEAST!"

27. "Tonight HELL... FREEZES OVER!"

28. "Let's kick some ICE!"

29. Tonight's forecast... a FREEZE is coming."

30. Batman: "You've lost."
Freeze: "I think not. BOMBS away Batman."
[Sets off bombs]

31. "FREEZE in hell, Batman!"

32. Poison Ivy: "He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me..."
Freeze: "NOT. Surprise, I'm your new cellmate. And I've come to make your life a living HELL. Prepare for a bitter harvest. WINTER... has come at last.

End of Days (1999)

Plot: Arnold is Jericho Cane, ex-cop, now body-guard, who must stop Satan from conquering the world. To do this he has to protect a 20 year girl from getting impregnated by ol' Lucifer. They keep running into each other, but for some reason Satan keeps letting Arnold live. The best one-liners of the film are bounced off of Satan.
Film: C-
One-liners: B-
Trailer #7

1. [After almost commiting suicide.]
"I was just pulling myself together."

2. "Personally I like scumbags.. they PAY better."

3. "They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day."

4. Chicago: "I think the police may need that."
Jericho: "I like to get a HEAD start."

5. Should have just killed that son of a bitch... less paperwork."

6. "I saved a life today. What the HELL did you do?!"

7. "So God ordered a hit on an investment banker?"

8. Jericho: "I've seen a lot too, but nothing that would make me cut my TOUNGE out."
[Turning the tables on Arnold, rarely done.]
Father Kovak: "Wait a few days."

9. "Now I have to believe in God, in order to solve a crime?!"

10. Chicago: "You okay?"
Jericho: " A guy carves words into his chest. Someone else nails him to the ceiling. What's NOT okay?!"

11. Chicago: "Sometimes you border on compitent."
Jericho: "I know.. scary ISN'T it?"

12. [Offering him painkillers.]
Christine: "You want one?"
Jericho: "No thanks... I DRINK."

13. "Why don't you stop this church talk.. and tell us what the HELL is going on."

14. "So the prince of darkness wants to conquer earth. He has to do it one hour before midnight. Is this eastern time? Watch

15. "Between your faith and my Gloch 9 millimeter..I take my Gloch."

16. "Who the FUCK are you?!"

17. [To the Devil.] "You're a choir boy... compared to ME!"

18. [To the Devil.] "I want YOU... to go to HELL!"

19. [After shooting Chicago.]
"Stop being such a PUSSY... it's just a scratch."

20. [After shooting a priest in the hand.]
"I can do THIS all day long."

21. Priest: "I'm not afraid to die."
Jericho: "Good! Cause I'm not afraid to kill you."

22. [After Jericho gets beat up.]
Boss: "Jesus... did you get hit by a truck?"
Jericho: "No... the TRUCK missed me."

23. [Jericho with Devil inside him, talking to Jesus.]
"You died for nothing... you just bought them TIME."

The 6th Day (2000)

Plot: Arnold is Adam Gibson, an average man, who is accidentally cloned. Those who did it are trying to kill him, and he's trying to get his life back to normal. I thought this was Arnold's best movie since True Lies, not great, but enjoyable. Some pretty good one-liners too.
Film: C
One-liners: B-
Trailer: Sm / Lg - #7, #8, #11

1. "I might be back."

2. Talia: "Stop the car!" [CRASH!!]
Adam: "Thanks for the suggestion."

3. [Killing Wiley a 2nd Time.]
"Try to stay dead this time."

4. [Seeing Talia alive again.]
"Doesn't anyone stay dead anymore?"

5. [Dropping Talia's thumb.]
"I'm all thumbs today."

6. Guard: "Can I help you?"
Adam: "Yeah, stick your thumb on there!"

7. "You cloned the wrong man!"

8. "I want my life back!"

9. [Terminator tribute] "Get out!"

10. [Punching his clone.]
"That's for sleeping with my wife!"

11. "I know who I am."

12. Adam: "You should clone yourself while your still alive."
Drucker: "So I can understand your unique perspective?"
Adam: "No. So you can go Fuck Yourself!"

13. "When I said you should screw yourself. I didn't mean it literally."

14. Adam: "Can you fly this?"
Adam Clone: "Better than you can."

Collateral Damage (2002)

Plot: Arnold is Gordy Brewer, a fireman who's wife and son are killed in a terrorist bombing. The US government is slow to respond, so Arnold goes down to Colombia to exact his revenge. By kicking some dirty, terrorist ass! The film takes itself quite seriously, so there aren't many true one-liners.
Film: D
One-liners: F
Trailer: Sm / Lg

1. [Prison is on fire, Arnold has the key.]
Gordy: "Let's play; This is your life!"

2. Armstrong: "You'd let me die here?"
Gordy: "No. That's the last thing that will happen to you. First, the air's gonna heat up in here to 451 degrees. than your pass will explode like a Roman candle, your socks will ignite, and your fingernails will melt."

3. Felix: "It's kind of hardcore-camesino-rap. Want to hear a little taste?"
Gordy: "I guess if I have to."

4. Claudio: "The fireman, huh?"
Gordy: "The coward who kills women and children."

5. Claudio: "You think you're the only ones who can fight for independence?"
Gordy: "Independence to do what? Kill my wife and son?!"

6. Claudio: "What's the difference between you and I?"
Gordy: "The difference is, I'm just gonna kill you."

7. Selena: "They'll protect us, won't they?"
Gordy: "If they won't, I will."

8. Brandt: "What we've got here is a great American!"
Gordy: "God damn you Brandt!"

9. Brandt: "You two make quite a team, the fireman and the refugee. Sounds like a TV show."
Gordy: "Mmm hmm, and you can play the asshole."

10. Claudio: "So when you gonna kill me?!"
Gordy: "Now!"

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2002)

Plot: Arnold is the Terminator for the 3rd, and hopefully, last time. Once again he is sent into the past to protect John Conner. This time a girl Terminator is after them. Pretty much a re-hash of part 2, with a new ending. Some ok one liners, with two of his worst ever: #8 & #11.
Film: B-
One-liners: C
Trailers

1. Terminator: "Give me your clothes"
Stripper: "Talk to the hand."
[Grabs his hand, breaking it]
Terminator: "NOW."

2. Kate: "You said you'd let me go."
Terminator: "I lied."

3. [After he crashes into a fire-truck.]
Terminator: I'll drive."

4. [Throws the T-X out of drivers seat.]
Terminator: "Excuse me."

5. [Violently checks out John.]
Terminator: "No sign of brain trauma."

6. Kate: "Drop dead you asshole!"
Terminator: "I'm unable to comply."

7. John: "You gotta be shitting me!"
Terminator: "No. I am not shitting you."

8. Clerk: "You gonna pay for that?"
Terminator: "Talk to the hand."

9. [Kate shoots him, he spits the bullet out.]
Terminator: "Don't do that."

10. [After destroying the hearse he's driving.]
Terminator: "We need a new vehicle."

11. Terminator: "She'll be back."

12. Terminator: "I'm back."

13. Terminator: "You are terminated."