Mallrats
Brodie: "..my cousin Walter got this cat stuck in his ass..."
Brodie: "Breakfast? Breakfast, smeckfast."
Brodie: "You think just because a guy reads comics ..."
Brodie: "...Why buy the cow, when you get the sex for free.."
Brodie: "...a man and his monkey."
Brodie: "you're the kind of guy that would beg for sex.."
Brodie: "I never farted in front of Renee, not once..."
Brodie: "Hell hath no fury, like a woman's scorned for Sega."
Brodie: "..I tried to teach you how to handle comics.."
Brodie: "..like Burt Reynolds and shit."
T.S. & Brodie: Discuss Superman's baby
T.S. & Jay: "You two up for getting stoned?.."
Jay: "Brodieman, noochie noochies!"
Jay: "All it took was a fat chronic blunt!"
Jay: "I'll tell you what you need is a fatty-boom-batty blunt..."
Jay: "..found a weakness just like the fuckin' Deathstar.."
Jay: Stage chrashin' plan #1 / plan #2
Jay: "Where do you get those wonderful toys?"
Jay: "Snootchie, bootchie, noochies."
Jay & Silent Bob: "..Holy shit, motherfuckin' Yoda and shit!.."
Silent Bob: "...a Jedi craves not these things."
Brodie: "My cousin Walter jerked off in public once..."

Chasing Amy
Comic Fan: "Then just say it.. you're a tracer."
Banky: "Your mother's a tracer!"
Banky: "I'll trace a chalk line around your fuckin body!"
Banky: "He's lucky I didn't put my pen through his thorax!"
Banky: "..get a pizza, watch DeGrassi Jr High.."
Banky: "I've got a weird thing for girls who say aboot."
Banky: "..and then Black Beauty couldn't take it any longer.."
Banky: "Alright.. bring on the free hooch!"
Banky: "..All every woman really wants..."
Banky: "..when a chick goes down on me..."
Banky: "...look at yourself naked in the mirror all the time?"
Banky: "..They're stroke books, stupid..."
Holden: "I'm crazy about this girl..."
Holden: "The big bucks are in the dick and fart jokes."
Holden & Jay: "Just having a little girl trouble..."
Jay: "You need to throw some pussy in that book man..."
Jay: "...Life ain't nothin but bitches and money."
Jay: "Snootchie Bootchies... That is fucking baby talk."
Silent Bob & Jay: "Do or do not, there is no try..."
Silent Bob: "So I've spent everyday since then chasing Amy."
Hooper: "Archie was the bitch and Jughead was the butch...."
Hooper: "Fuck Lando Calrisian!"

Dogma
Cardinal Glick: "I give you the Buddy Christ."
Bartleby & Loki: "..I just love to fuck with the clergy, man.."
Loki: "...This is why I had to miss my fucking cartoons?"
Loki: "...and then I can go back home?"
Loki: "...if I had a dick I'd go get layed."
Loki: "...what about Jay and Bob?.."
Loki: "Who's house? Run's house..."
Bartleby: ".. can't be anal retentive, if you don't have an anus."
Azrael: "...no exquisite sin greater... than central air."
Bethany: "Who the fuck are you..."
Jay & Bethany: "...would you fuck us then?.."
Jay & Metatron: "Who the fuck are you lady?!.."
Jay: "Go back to your paper routes you mighty duck fucks!"
Jay: "...they were just kids but we kicked there fucking asses."
Jay: "..naked big titted women don't just fall outa the sky..."
Jay: "Smoke that motherfucker like it ain't no thing!"
Jay: "...Count the shells suckaduck!"
Rufus: "Jesus wasn't white, Jesus was black!"
Rufus: "...great great GREAT great grandniece of Jesus Christ."
Rufus: "...A black man can steal your stereo, but he cant be your savior."

Some sounds from:
Clerks: Movie Quote Quiz / View Askew
Mallrats: View Askew
Chasing Amy: Wav List / Movie Wavs
Dogma: Movie Wav Place